自信...在哪里了呢？

最近发觉自己好像越来越没自信了。。。
因为唱歌被人说不够好吗？
因为拍戏被人说不够戏份？
还是老了，觉得这一切都不适合自己了？
还是。。我跟本没条件做这一些东西。。。
我真的不知道什么原因。。
很想知道，但也很累得去了解。。。
我要从心出发，找回哪个真正的我，自信满满的我。
就给我一点时间去了解我自己吧。


我不想忘记你，也不想失去你。
但是我决定放弃你。
因为我不想让自己再乱下去，再糊闹下去了。
我必许张大了，城熟了。不再是以前的哪个小孩了。。。

adolescent psychology.. 1

today learn 2 term... that is...
1. imaginary audience
2. personal fable
both this 2 term also refer to adolescent's egocentrism. haiz...

imaginary audience refer to an egocentric state where an individual imagines and believes that multitudes of people are enthusiastically listening to him or her at all times. Though this state is often exhibited in young adolescence, people of any age may harbor a belief in an imaginary audience.

summary: thinking peoples always keep an eye, looking at him or her where he or she is in the main of attraction. we say as 'on stage'.


In extreme cases, belief in an imaginary audience can lead to paranoia as the sufferer believes he or she is being watched by an invisible audience at all times. Fearing that he or she is being observed and evaluated, such an individual may develop a phobia of making mistakes or looking foolish in public.


personal fable refer to characterized by an over-differentiating of one's experiences and feelings from others to the point of assuming those experiences are unique from those of others. A person might believe that he is the only one who can experience whatever feelings of joy, horror, misery, or confusion he might encounter.

summary: keep on thinking people not understand his or her feeling, no one know what they feel, how they think etc... (i said it as self-pitying. haha...)

btw, definaion copy from wikipedia, summary i write it mself. haha...

明白的。。。

最近去溜冰。。看明白了一些事情。
小孩学溜冰很快就学会，大人玩了一整天都溜不到。原因是小孩不怕跌倒不害怕痛的感觉不会害羞。。。
人张大了就会开始害怕跌倒，因为害怕痛的感觉，怕会被人笑。。。
大人，是吗？

scary men~~

haiz.. Everyday also doing the samething. Every week repeating my schedule, doing same thing..
Monday class at 8am. From Selayang go Pj, usually use 45mins. And usually will be late to class. Then have to act act like i just back class from the toilet, throw my bag outside the class and enter. Haiz.. Found that i quit good in acting. Haha. Class end at 9.30pm. Slow motion a bit, then 10pm only can back. After that, find people go out, eat eat a, shopping a, hang out a, movie, or sing k. If not, then i'll trap myself in starbuck, old town or tasty treat to go online and do some work. If not again, then just back to ss2 room, wash cloth, 'room' keeping and sleep. Haha. Rarely will go drive baby to class. Night time often go eat with roommate.
Tuesday class at 9.30am. Usually today will be earlier to uni, go find yy them to burn my video recording into cd and print my weekly report as both need to submit it to lecture at that class. After class will have 4 hours rest time. Usually few of us will 'lepak' in yy house, eat, online and sleep there. Then continue second class in the evening. After class, until now the activity is sing k in lowyat redbox, cause bufet with student price n we have free head charge for that. Haha. Sing until mid night. End d drive them go home. Will have a chat with baby on the way back. Reach my own house d quickly bath n sleep. And everyday have to remind kelvin not to lock the door. If locked, have to wake him up. Haha.
Wednesday also same. Morning class at 8am. Usually will late or not attend class cos unable to wake up. Hahaha. Then will find groupmate them eat during rest time. Continue 2nd and 3rd class lol at noon n evening. Middle rest will go yam cha. After class rush back house, bath, rest a while, then go genting klang to sing. Haha. I am a part time cafe singer as well. Haha. Sing from 9pm to 12pm. Rest 30mins in the middle. After sing go home and sleep. Sometimes will sms or msn or call phone with friend. Usually will not. Haha.
Thursday is the boring'ness day. Class at noon, only 1 class. Usually 9am will wake up. Then have some chat with kelvin on his work a, my daily activity a etc. Then he will go to work, and i will go do some cleaning job in the room, wash cloth etc. Noon go class, after class go eat with groupmate them lol. After that will find people to hang out. If not i just trap myself again in cafe or restaurant to online, or sleep in house, or find baby to chat or yam cha etc la.. Then night go eat with kelvin lo or just stay at home online. Kelvin back home, have chat with him again lol. Then sleep.
Friday class morning 8am to 1pm. Middle rest go eat lol. After class usually will find baby to do recording for my homework. Then after that will go hang around or go eat lol with baby and camerawomen, if she helping.. then friday if got time, will go find my singer friend them lol. Listen to their singing in kepong Wings cafe. sometimes will ask CY HK them to yam cha there also. if not, then i alone lol.. already biasa already. haha.. then go own house in Selayang.. and clean and play my pets them... i got 6 gliders, 1 hedgehog, 2 tortoise and a turtle. hoho... all living healthily...
Saturday pula... hmm.. nothing to do one. Usually find people to go out lol. If not, just stay home for homework... or watching tv show. hahahaha....
Sunday also same lol... got people out, mai go lol. if not, just stay home doing nothing. haiz...

scary men yo...

haiz.. Everyday also doing the samething. Every week repeating my schedule, doing same thing..
Monday class at 8am. From Selayang go Pj, usually use 45mins. And usually will be late to class. Then have to act act like i just back class from the toilet, throw my bag outside the class and enter. Haiz.. Found that i quit good in acting. Haha. Class end at 9.30pm. Slow motion a bit, then 10pm only can back. After that, find people go out, eat eat a, shopping a, hang out a, movie, or sing k. If not, then i'll trap myself in starbuck, old town or tasty treat to go online and do some work. If not again, then just back to ss2 room, wash cloth, 'room' keeping and sleep. Haha. Rarely will go drive baby to class. Night time often go eat with roommate.
Tuesday class at 9.30am. Usually today will be earlier to uni, go find yy them to burn my video recording into cd and print my weekly report as both need to submit it to lecture at that class. After class will have 4 hours rest time. Usually few of us will 'lepak' in yy house, eat, online and sleep there. Then continue second class in the evening. After class, until now the activity is sing k in lowyat redbox, cause bufet with student price n we have free head charge for that. Haha. Sing until mid night. End d drive them go home. Will have a chat with baby on the way back. Reach my own house d quickly bath n sleep. And everyday have to remind kelvin not to lock the door. If locked, have to wake him up. Haha.
Wednesday also same. Morning class at 8am. Usually will late or not attend class cos unable to wake up. Hahaha. Then will find groupmate them eat during rest time. Continue 2nd and 3rd class lol at noon n evening. Middle rest will go yam cha. After class rush back house, bath, rest a while, then go genting klang to sing. Haha. I am a part time cafe singer as well. Haha. Sing from 9pm to 12pm. Rest 30mins in the middle. After sing go home and sleep. Sometimes will sms or msn or call phone with friend. Usually will not. Haha.
Thursday is the boring'ness day. Class at noon, only 1 class. Usually 9am will wake up. Then have some chat with kelvin on his work a, my daily activity a etc. Then he will go to work, and i will go do some cleaning job in the room, wash cloth etc. Noon go class, after class go eat with groupmate them lol. After that will find people to hang out. If not i just trap myself again in cafe or restaurant to online, or sleep in house, or find baby to chat or yam cha etc la.. Then night go eat with kelvin lo or just stay at home online. Kelvin back home, have chat with him again lol. Then sleep.
Friday class morning 8am to 1pm. Middle rest go eat lol. After class usually will find baby to do recording for my homework. If not 。。 Continue after my class. Bye.