Relax... Langkawi trip!!!

Haha... Happy'nya. is good to have a few days trip for relaxation, run away from all those negative feeling and negative energy that always circulating around me and also the busy, smelly and noisy city life!!! run into... LANGKAWI!!!

Langkawi is an island situated in the state of Kedah, north of Malaysia. Langkawi is the paradise of shopping!! Because it is all DUTY FREE!!! but things in the shops is about the same, where most of it is liquor, chocolate n sweet... this is because liqour is charge with high duty fees or tax in other places of Malaysia. haha....

Langkawi is also a legendary island in Malaysia. the story about the opening of Langkawi is associated with a giant eagle or Garuda, where the word 'Lang' means 'Helang' or eagle. in Langkawi, there were the story about the legendary of Mahsuri, a beautiful lady which death because of misunderstanding and she curse Langkawi to become 'padang pasir padang terkukur' which means 'sand island which is very worse in conditions' for 7 generations of Langkawi citizen. When she was killed, white blood came out from her body. Her curse come into reality when war were unstopable and the destroyed of the rice field in Langkawi.

Other place of interest in Langkawi would be the Pantai Pasir Hitam, The Jeti where there is a huge eagle statue which representing the Langkawi island, Kuah Town, Underwater world, Wildlife park, Crocodile farm, Buffalo farm, Tanjung Rhu with the most beautiful beaches and scene that i had visited for the past 3 days, Telaga Tujuh waterfall, Makam Mahsuri, Cable Car, Snake Santuary, as well as visiting the small island(s) around Langkawi.

This that must be buy here is batik which available in almost every stall in those place of interest, chocolate, and also liquor for people who like it in cheap price, due to duty free. beer is selling cheaper than mineral water and soft drinks.

For food, there would be various of stall and shop selling food, from eastern to western food. recommended is the island lover cafe and another chinese restaurant which situated in the middle of Kuah town, the food there is very tasty!! haha... but uncle is a bit weird because he not allow me to eat crab meat shark finn... he do not take my order for this dish. haiz...

what happen in here... you would be able to see different country people having their relaxing day here. we meet a group of people from guang dong, china. stating they thought that Malaysian only speak Malay. they get excited and feel weird when we speak cantonese (a chinese dialect) fluently. haha... meet a couple of western white who riding the motorcycle in the island. we meet them few times (the same couple) in a day, in different places. haha... we keep laughing when we meet them on the road... besides that, meet a group of young taiwanese who kindly take picture for us when one of them heard we saying to find people to help us take group photo (we did not asked them, they offer their help to us. thanks).

and of course, i brought 10 bottle of miniature liquor, 2 normal liquor and many of batik! haha.... by the way, a person who stays there for 3 days 2 night is only limited to buy 1 liter of liquor each!! miniature do not have limit as i told by the aunty in the shop. and of course, the one i buy is 1 bottle of normal liquor, and another one is those healthy drinking liquor (there were 3 type of it, and they were given special permission for this 3).

and the most funny things that i get to know is that the original El Senorio or knowm as 'takila' is actually have a cactus worm in it!! haha... aunty told me that those with no worm is not original liquor. original takila contains around 6 to 7 big worm in the kiquor bottle, which you can see in the liquor it self!!!!


Anyway... which people who visits to Langkawi to have fun!!!!!!!!!!! Good night!!

forever... together...

huh... why do i always started my blog with a 'huh' word? haha.. weird lol... or maybe already is a habit for me. hahaa...

mmm... i found out i had a very bad habit. thats when i feel my head is itchy, i will scratch it with my finger.. and because my skin is a bit sensiti, it will easily get injured and my finger will be 'colored' wit my blood. haha.... then only i would go and take bath!! haha... ok, it does not happen frequently... just sometimes la.. as everyone know i am a very 'clean' person who would bath early in the morning when i wake up, bath again in the noon when i feel hot or sticky due to sweat, and night time before i sleep! haha... and i remember last time when i was small, i would keep wash my head whenever i feel my head itchy... haha... i mean even after i bath i feel my hair is not clean i would go and wash my hair at the basin... wakaka... what a weird habit... haiz...

mmmm... this few days is quite a busy and crazy day. haha... a night before my exam i go and sing in a cafe, go to yam cha with my fellow friend, and only back at my room is ss2 at 2pm and start to read my book for the exam... and i does get enough sleep wher ei only sleep for about 2 hours, and go for the exam, continue hang out with my friend, and night time go and sing in the same cafe again as replacement and my singing is really terrible on the second day due to all those bad bad bad situations... haiz... but anyhow, the second day the enviroment in the cafe is starting to s* as the customer is having their birthday party there and it is teriblely noisy until we can't even hear our own voice projected by the monitor! great... no matter how worse we sing, no one would notice because everyone can't liste to our singing! but still feel a bit guilty for not doing my job well. huh...

today is a funny day that kien call me in the morning asking bout our trip! and i tell him whether we can go later or not because i wanted to sleep for another 2 hours since i had not been sleep good for 2 days. haha... of course, at the end we cancel the plan. and plan to bird park but cancel again due to some problem. haiz... don't say anymore. then at last we had our steamboat dinner in amy's house. 6 of us there, where most of them don't know each other. haha... anyway, i think is fun today as... we abuse ourself with the food!!! wakaka... we play card and whoever that lose need to eat the same amount of food with te card on hand. haha.... everyone is crazy because over float with the food intake! haha.....

and currently the most terrible problem that haunting me is my sister's love life lol.. huh... both of them is so so so terrible.... for what lah disturbing me with both of your's problem? settle it by youself la.. huh... just tell each other what is in your mind, don't always think i am the middle person. and i don't think you guys want me to open my mouth... as your all know, if i open, i would just scold both of you with no mercy, as usual. huh.. now, i just wait.. until i reach my limit, i would give you two the 'best advise' huh... and i know the limit is coming soon~~~

and finally... tomorrow i would be going to malacca... haha.... at last i am out station for a short trip! haiz.. had been plan for so long, but no one corperate with me for that. haha... now... is the start for my malaysia whole town visitation! haha.... yeah!!! lets move on!!!

moral story behind...

today go shopping and go sing k with amy lol... tomorrow she is going to exam, but still want go hang out! haiya! geng ah!!! wakaka... she bought a lot of things oh! and i also same la... not a lot like her. bought a dvd....a ghost story. Muoi... i think some of you watched it cause it show in the cinema before. but i do not have chance to go watch! haha... and saw it selling cheap today in the store. haha....
mmm...
the story bout a guy got a girl friend
he ask peole go rape his girlfriend
cause he is dating with another girl
then the girl's bestfriend also like that guy
and she is a writer
then the bad girl and the guy tell the bestfriend tipu punya news
and the bestfriend write it into a book because jeolousy
then the poor girl awaken a curse to punish them after a few years when she regain back her strength from the incident
the poor girl sacrified herself to awake the curse
and let the ghost to possess her bestfriend to balas dendam
the bestfriend aka the ghost back to korea and kill the bad girl and the guy
haiz...
end of the story
the guy is very handsome, but do such a bad thing
and the poor girl also very tall and pretty
korea actress and actor all very 'good quality'
haha
moral of the story is that...
'don't do bad things. maybe you were not punished on that time. that doesn't mean you can run away from the justice. anyhow you will be punished for doing the bad things.'

the end of today's blog.

Wonderful...

Had been thinking the reason for many many time, many many days, many many month....
why it become bad to worse??
at last i realised it....

today went to sing k with chien, cyee and kien. had a wonderful night having fun with them as always. haha... no wonder we are a geng from secondary to now! because we are playful and crazy! haha... a geng need to consist many many characteristic. haha.... thats correct...

suddenly realise this when i am singing one of my favarite song which had been long forgotten... 'firework' or 'yan huo'... i found my sound were different singing this song comparing to the other song... suddenly, all the memory come to me...

the first time i sing 'zhuan shu tian shi' on stage...
the whole year which i were giving chance to sing this song on stage...
the time when i singing 'yan huo' in a performance...
the time when i sing 'zhuan shu tian shi' while working on stage...
the comment that a friend of mine told me when i was playing on the stage...
the comment the same friend give me when i was working on the same stage...
the word one of my best friend said in k while she asked me to sing 'yan huo'...
the talks that we have when i chat with all my cafe singer friends...
the words that one of the cafe singer scolded me because some silly things i did...
and at last...
i realise the reason...
why i do not have the intention, the emotion and the feeling...
which i have when i was playing on the stage...
but not there when i was working on the same stage...
is because...
i am singing...
because i need to sing...
but not singing...
because i want to sing...
thats the different...
i am happy...
i am sad...
because i realise the reason...
and know the fault i made....
one day...
i will return...
with the starting me...
who sing...
because he wanted to sing so much on the stage...
i promise....

lonely night... lovely hour...

had been hanging around with few i consider as long lost friend this 2 days. nothing special, just hanging around, eating, and crazying almost any topic we chat...even meet a 'long lost' friend in msn which had been almost few year not contacting with each other. haha...

exam is coming soon. but i am not in the mood of studying. why? i not sure. i think i am in the phobia... phobia of getting graduated... graduate means jobless. haha... i need to plan for my future starting today. i don't want to wait until the last minute only think about this. scare that i will lost most my friend now after we graduate. scare about almost everything... everything that go into my mind.

listening to the 'powerful mind' cd. did it calm me down? i not sure. but i know i do in the calm emotional state, as usual when i am alone in my own room. always...

everything seems to be stop in the mid air.. but time is still ticking around my ear.. what can i do? i need to move a faster step in front to catch up with everything that i had drop in the past. i need to move forward... to be back the real me...

i am looking... i am looing for someone who able to break the stone castle and touched my heart... someone who walk besides me, not behind me. haha... when the person will appear in front of me? i don't know... only god know~~~ future ahead me... here i come!!!

Movie...

This 2 weeks..
almost every movie had been watch! haha...
Up, Alien in the attic, Laughing Gor, I love you Beth Cooper...
From cartoon to scientific movie to fighting movie to comedy...
And will be continue with the 2 ghot movie currently shown...

After watch a scene in I love you Beth Cooper. suddenly i realised...
I had watch the sunrise.. on mountain.. over the sea.. and everytime...
i watch it myself.. haha..
Suddenly feel a bit lonely... where is the person...
who accompany me to watch the scene?

haiz...rainie day o...

raining oh.. haiz... boring nya.
currently so many movie on screen now oh! today will be going to watch the funny i love you beth cooper, tml is the 'up' movie lol...
finding people to watch ghost movie with me leh!! i want to watch the screen in kampocha and also the ophan ah!! huh...
any one!! find me watch ghost movie lol!!

Wonderful dayz...

Friday what had i done i forgotten... Ah!! I bought the 'little ghost' bag! haha... is very cute!

Saturday being busy. working in genting highland as a team leader @ dj for an event in the front door of arena of star.. wah!! talk from 11am to 5pm. causes me to lost my voice after the event. if very fun qorking that day, cause we are enjoying ourself there playing games and chatting with people. watch the myfm 11 years old show in arena of star! i just want to see hins singing! haha... night time laugh like craz causes by loong. i know him for 2 years, and i had never known he was a so funny guy! haha... joel had keep on asking to go to the casino but he was the one asleep when reach the apartment. haha... had a little chat with loong before we sleep. and both of us no peduli joel when he asked us to go casino after he awaked from his sleep, because is the time for us to sleep. haha...

Sunday morning wake up and talk bout what happen last night when sleeping. i hug loong when i sleep.. cause already 'biasa' hugging my pilow when sleeping. and also is more warm when hugging him during sleep. genting night time is a bit cold that day. and he said he just sleep closing his xxx while letting me hug him sleep. haha.. and he said i am cute cause i move his head onto the pillow when i awaken in the mid night and saw his head in the bad position. haha... all the funny thing happen when we sleep... went to casino and won a little meal money there..

Today... had my lunch being spotlight with li and yang. then go for another small meal with big bro. and continue having tea with ah har and andy. ah ma call saying hins asking am i there in his tour. making me feel a bit sorry cause do not attent his tour. but happy also cause he still remember me! ah ma say he wrote there 'se you next time' in on of his album which belongs to me. haha.. really do love him so much! haha... then celebrate fei birthday in mid valley!~ happy birthday yo! watch the proposal! is a very funny movie! haha... and have my dinner with ah har after everything end in sentosa. red bean is always my favarite!

Hins, See You Next Time!! Love You!!!

好可怕的。。。‘恐龙’ .

哇！真的被吓倒了！！
没想到恐龙一出声就被他射了几枪！真的很恐怖！
前几天又回到了名歌里做代办驻唱，拍档还是他。。‘恐龙’。
之前在其他朋友哪听说他是个很奇怪的人。我和他合作了那么多次也是觉得他很奇怪。
怎么说呢？
因为他的行动我们都想不到，了解不了，所以就觉得他奇怪。
例如，跟他说要唱这首个，他却叫你唱别的，过后他就唱掉你刚选的歌。
或者他会抢着要唱某某一首歌，不给你唱。
但一路以来都和他相处的OKOK啦。。。
没想到前几天跟他再合作，到尾声就被他开枪了！哇！！
但是他所说的东西都是对的。
往往无论我唱歌唱到多好，多高音，每个人都觉得我没有一点的感情去唱哪首歌。
就是因为我太注重在我唱工哪。。一直想着，注着我唱出来的声音。
他说，‘驻唱歌手不是比赛的KAKI。可以夹多少就夹多少。你每次唱酱高，不觉得很吵吗？你越大声，吉他弹得越大声，哪感觉是很吵的！放底一个两个来唱，不是更舒服吗？又不会吵闹。乐手弹得又轻松。唱工掉了点，唱的时候也就可以放进点感情去唱。我讲话就是酱直的啦。你要我说‘你唱的很好啊’，SORRY咯，我办不到，那不是要你好，反而是会害了你的话！’
(当然他的语气不是酱好啦。。。)
我真的好像一个小学生在听他教训。没想到，他跟我讲最多话的一次，就是我被他开枪的一次。真的是整个人都傻掉了！哈哈。。。
但是我真的很感谢他对我说了这一番话！他把我‘教’醒了。其实我等了这一句话等了很久。。我知道我唱歌有缺点，却没有人愿意说出缺点在哪，要怎样修改，怎样训练。但没想到是他说出的。哈哈。。。
谢谢你呀！阿隆。。。

他说其实是阿豪哥叫他提醒我的。不然他也不会管我。所以。。
‘阿豪哥，谢谢你一路以来给我的机会！真的很谢谢你！！！’

自信...在哪里了呢？

最近发觉自己好像越来越没自信了。。。
因为唱歌被人说不够好吗？
因为拍戏被人说不够戏份？
还是老了，觉得这一切都不适合自己了？
还是。。我跟本没条件做这一些东西。。。
我真的不知道什么原因。。
很想知道，但也很累得去了解。。。
我要从心出发，找回哪个真正的我，自信满满的我。
就给我一点时间去了解我自己吧。


我不想忘记你，也不想失去你。
但是我决定放弃你。
因为我不想让自己再乱下去，再糊闹下去了。
我必许张大了，城熟了。不再是以前的哪个小孩了。。。

adolescent psychology.. 1

today learn 2 term... that is...
1. imaginary audience
2. personal fable
both this 2 term also refer to adolescent's egocentrism. haiz...

imaginary audience refer to an egocentric state where an individual imagines and believes that multitudes of people are enthusiastically listening to him or her at all times. Though this state is often exhibited in young adolescence, people of any age may harbor a belief in an imaginary audience.

summary: thinking peoples always keep an eye, looking at him or her where he or she is in the main of attraction. we say as 'on stage'.


In extreme cases, belief in an imaginary audience can lead to paranoia as the sufferer believes he or she is being watched by an invisible audience at all times. Fearing that he or she is being observed and evaluated, such an individual may develop a phobia of making mistakes or looking foolish in public.


personal fable refer to characterized by an over-differentiating of one's experiences and feelings from others to the point of assuming those experiences are unique from those of others. A person might believe that he is the only one who can experience whatever feelings of joy, horror, misery, or confusion he might encounter.

summary: keep on thinking people not understand his or her feeling, no one know what they feel, how they think etc... (i said it as self-pitying. haha...)

btw, definaion copy from wikipedia, summary i write it mself. haha...

明白的。。。

最近去溜冰。。看明白了一些事情。
小孩学溜冰很快就学会，大人玩了一整天都溜不到。原因是小孩不怕跌倒不害怕痛的感觉不会害羞。。。
人张大了就会开始害怕跌倒，因为害怕痛的感觉，怕会被人笑。。。
大人，是吗？

scary men~~

haiz.. Everyday also doing the samething. Every week repeating my schedule, doing same thing..
Monday class at 8am. From Selayang go Pj, usually use 45mins. And usually will be late to class. Then have to act act like i just back class from the toilet, throw my bag outside the class and enter. Haiz.. Found that i quit good in acting. Haha. Class end at 9.30pm. Slow motion a bit, then 10pm only can back. After that, find people go out, eat eat a, shopping a, hang out a, movie, or sing k. If not, then i'll trap myself in starbuck, old town or tasty treat to go online and do some work. If not again, then just back to ss2 room, wash cloth, 'room' keeping and sleep. Haha. Rarely will go drive baby to class. Night time often go eat with roommate.
Tuesday class at 9.30am. Usually today will be earlier to uni, go find yy them to burn my video recording into cd and print my weekly report as both need to submit it to lecture at that class. After class will have 4 hours rest time. Usually few of us will 'lepak' in yy house, eat, online and sleep there. Then continue second class in the evening. After class, until now the activity is sing k in lowyat redbox, cause bufet with student price n we have free head charge for that. Haha. Sing until mid night. End d drive them go home. Will have a chat with baby on the way back. Reach my own house d quickly bath n sleep. And everyday have to remind kelvin not to lock the door. If locked, have to wake him up. Haha.
Wednesday also same. Morning class at 8am. Usually will late or not attend class cos unable to wake up. Hahaha. Then will find groupmate them eat during rest time. Continue 2nd and 3rd class lol at noon n evening. Middle rest will go yam cha. After class rush back house, bath, rest a while, then go genting klang to sing. Haha. I am a part time cafe singer as well. Haha. Sing from 9pm to 12pm. Rest 30mins in the middle. After sing go home and sleep. Sometimes will sms or msn or call phone with friend. Usually will not. Haha.
Thursday is the boring'ness day. Class at noon, only 1 class. Usually 9am will wake up. Then have some chat with kelvin on his work a, my daily activity a etc. Then he will go to work, and i will go do some cleaning job in the room, wash cloth etc. Noon go class, after class go eat with groupmate them lol. After that will find people to hang out. If not i just trap myself again in cafe or restaurant to online, or sleep in house, or find baby to chat or yam cha etc la.. Then night go eat with kelvin lo or just stay at home online. Kelvin back home, have chat with him again lol. Then sleep.
Friday class morning 8am to 1pm. Middle rest go eat lol. After class usually will find baby to do recording for my homework. Then after that will go hang around or go eat lol with baby and camerawomen, if she helping.. then friday if got time, will go find my singer friend them lol. Listen to their singing in kepong Wings cafe. sometimes will ask CY HK them to yam cha there also. if not, then i alone lol.. already biasa already. haha.. then go own house in Selayang.. and clean and play my pets them... i got 6 gliders, 1 hedgehog, 2 tortoise and a turtle. hoho... all living healthily...
Saturday pula... hmm.. nothing to do one. Usually find people to go out lol. If not, just stay home for homework... or watching tv show. hahahaha....
Sunday also same lol... got people out, mai go lol. if not, just stay home doing nothing. haiz...

scary men yo...

haiz.. Everyday also doing the samething. Every week repeating my schedule, doing same thing..
Monday class at 8am. From Selayang go Pj, usually use 45mins. And usually will be late to class. Then have to act act like i just back class from the toilet, throw my bag outside the class and enter. Haiz.. Found that i quit good in acting. Haha. Class end at 9.30pm. Slow motion a bit, then 10pm only can back. After that, find people go out, eat eat a, shopping a, hang out a, movie, or sing k. If not, then i'll trap myself in starbuck, old town or tasty treat to go online and do some work. If not again, then just back to ss2 room, wash cloth, 'room' keeping and sleep. Haha. Rarely will go drive baby to class. Night time often go eat with roommate.
Tuesday class at 9.30am. Usually today will be earlier to uni, go find yy them to burn my video recording into cd and print my weekly report as both need to submit it to lecture at that class. After class will have 4 hours rest time. Usually few of us will 'lepak' in yy house, eat, online and sleep there. Then continue second class in the evening. After class, until now the activity is sing k in lowyat redbox, cause bufet with student price n we have free head charge for that. Haha. Sing until mid night. End d drive them go home. Will have a chat with baby on the way back. Reach my own house d quickly bath n sleep. And everyday have to remind kelvin not to lock the door. If locked, have to wake him up. Haha.
Wednesday also same. Morning class at 8am. Usually will late or not attend class cos unable to wake up. Hahaha. Then will find groupmate them eat during rest time. Continue 2nd and 3rd class lol at noon n evening. Middle rest will go yam cha. After class rush back house, bath, rest a while, then go genting klang to sing. Haha. I am a part time cafe singer as well. Haha. Sing from 9pm to 12pm. Rest 30mins in the middle. After sing go home and sleep. Sometimes will sms or msn or call phone with friend. Usually will not. Haha.
Thursday is the boring'ness day. Class at noon, only 1 class. Usually 9am will wake up. Then have some chat with kelvin on his work a, my daily activity a etc. Then he will go to work, and i will go do some cleaning job in the room, wash cloth etc. Noon go class, after class go eat with groupmate them lol. After that will find people to hang out. If not i just trap myself again in cafe or restaurant to online, or sleep in house, or find baby to chat or yam cha etc la.. Then night go eat with kelvin lo or just stay at home online. Kelvin back home, have chat with him again lol. Then sleep.
Friday class morning 8am to 1pm. Middle rest go eat lol. After class usually will find baby to do recording for my homework. If not 。。 Continue after my class. Bye.

Backed... to my wonder world...

t last is the end of the month.. and as said.. i had officially resign from the company.. and going back to my old wonderful world. haha... happy or sad.. is hard to know. hard to define... hard to speak out... a lot of things had happen... happy and sad... anger and moddy... everything just rush back to me in once... haha...

想试着努力的洒脱，一转身眼泪却在流。。。离开之前忍著眼泪收著最后的防线。

i like this 2 sentence a lot. is from 2 different songs, but from the same singers. haha.. both i know them, and these songs is writen by them, two of them.
when ever we wanna run away from something, we actualy huting our ownself.. that is why 'we try as hard to run away, to release, but still our tears is droping just at the corner'...
when we tried to release something, we will always show that we are strong enough to face it, thats why we always keep our tears, and we seems not disturbed by it... that is why 'before we go away, we hold our tears, and we keep our last blockage.' to show that we did not bother by the incident. haha...

back to myself...
Hehe... i had make a glasses lol.. at last. haha... actually i had some sight problem la.. 'shan guang'.. light brightness problem.. just a very mild problem. but i think it do disturb my studies, as i can't see the word on the projector's screen. huh... thats y i went with one of my close friend to make the glasses... together. and guess what? she used up to 2 hour to choose her glasses. haha.. of course, including giving me opinion la for my glasses as well. haha..

studying psychology really make me seeing things carefully, and from different point of view... but it also making me hard to make a decision... as i will always see from more than 2 point of view... huh... really hard for me to adapt... hard to know what is true and what is false, what is good and what is bad... what is real and what is illusion... in front of me.....

currently one incident happen. some one close to me actually remind me of the true of human personality... what we see with our eye sometimes is not true... there is some hidden secret that can't seen by the eyes... my closed friends think that i get closed too soon... with a friend that i know currently. and i too trusted this friend of my, although we did not know for very long time. and i think most of people close to me knows, i will always treat people that i trust with my heart... and they scared that i will be hurt.... maybe... but... still, i believing him... dunno why. maybe is the feeling... maybe is his personality... maybe i just feel to trust him... haha... anyway... i trusted you. haha...

then... another incident happen la between me and another friend, huh... this is a very funny... and terrible things that shouldn't happen. haha... and i also feel so suprise.. and shock.. after get to know it from a closed friend of mine. she told me that someone confronted her that the particular person fall in love with.. erhem... me. and... huh.. i also what to say la. just that we shouldn't have this type of feeling, and this type of relationship. i know about this earlier... but i don't belief that th particular person brave enough to confront it to my friend... very closed to me. haha... shock... and dunno should laugh or cry. haha......

huh... currently been singing in a cafe in Setapak. haha... new experient.. cause singing with a female partner. haha... thanks a lot for taking care yo, Ling. haha... thanks a lot.

on the way... back to my wonderful life...

Currently i am moving back to my life... the wonderful life i had before i work in the office... back to my freelances work... acting here and acting there... singing here and singing there... and currently... photograph taking as well. haha...

To say the true, currently my life have been back to a slightly a little bit more normal comparing to before this. haha... why? because i had really... really resign for the office job... i feel that a big huge stone had been released from my body... my heart... and my emotions. haha... still... i am stil adjusting myself to this enviroment... the old world which i had currently... totally forgoten. haha...

Currently had started to go shooting again... as a student in form 3... haha... sometimes i think is a little too old for me to be a form 3 student... haha... but my dear father say he is very confident for me to be that. haha... and... of course i went and be lol. haahaa... and is quite funny as well. haha... as my mandarin is not that fluent speaking, haha... really does look like a secondary studeti assume. haha... is quite a good experience as usually i will be asked to be customer, office boy, or pass-by'er... and this time is a great challenge for me to be a secondary student. and really thanks to my dear father who give me this opportunity. haha... and thanks again as it is a few times job. haha...

Then... another person i have to thanks is Ling Ling... haha... thanks for bringing me to sing in the prima setapak cafe. i think i did a bad job singing that day... cause had been long time not singing already.. and.. all is new songs that mostly never sang before in cafe. haha... especially that 'zao zhi dao ai'... huh... sing like ghost crying.. haha... but still... thanks to Ling Ling for giving me a chance to back to the singing life. haha... thanks a lot...

Looking back to my photo in friendster which already 2 years and maybe more than that... my life really do filled with a lot of fun, happy, sadness, anger, hate... and... love. haha... thanks everyone for showing up yourself in my life... no matter you pop up in front of me, of just msn'ing with me, or sms'ing or thru calling... thanks everyone for giving me a wonderful life~ thank you very much. i appreciate everyone that walk into my life~~~

Released... Fly away......

very tired and boring and moody and... all negative feeling filled in me. huh... really... i wish i have a pair of wing... fly away from everything that i don't like. huh...

work had been growthfrom bad to worse... now i really cannot stand in these enviroment. and i had officially asked myself to resign..

this few weeks had happen a lot of things.. really... make me really unhappy working in this company. last time is because i like to do event a lot, thats y i work in this company. but now, the urge for work is not here, negative feeling is growing more compare to the liking...

first of all... why everytime when i asked for off day, at the end there sure you all will arrange work for me? is not first time... is already second and third time... always says that off day we should off, but at last asked me back for work...
then... said that will choose good part timer to attend training. and at last, what we have here? newbies who never work before, and find people from the internet. thats consider a professional... ya... then i think i should resign my job...
always last minute job for us. had said that we should not get involve in this job and that job. and at last, what ever that can't settle on time, just throw it to us. and blame us for what ever problem that occur... good never get appraise, bad always get complain. what you want us to do? why don't you just ask them to settle and finish up their job from throwing it to us when they can't finish it?
what ever job that you guys arrange me to do i never settle? complain complain... is there any time that i will run away from my job? did i put my job aside and run away before it is settle? no.. and never... for what to complain? is it wrong for me to settle my job fast? if you guys like people who do their job slowly and can't do anything while blaming other people for the fault, then you find the wrong person to work with. i really dun understand why... is it fault for me to settle my job fast and hand over those other's job back to them to settle? wait there and be a vase, wasting time? thats what u want then i think you better find few more people like that stupid fat pig!
and lastly, stupid fat pig! what had i did to you? until you want to be a two headed snake, complaining me to people who were just walking next to me? you tell me to settle it with my way, and just few second call to another person complaining about me... you really do let me see your real face... protecting yourself and push all the blame to other people, seems you are not involve in it... huh... just one day... i belief you will get back the pay from ll you had done, to me and to the others people...
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curently know a lot of people... get friends from all over Malaysia. had some in kota bharu, batu pahat... and of course KL here as well. all known not for long, but i think they were better from those i face to face everyday, and being two head snakes type. had a little guy come down here from KB to study. haha... i know you were quit boring here cause friends were not studying in the same class with you. ya, find a day to bring you out walk walk in KL as i promised you. haha... the a mummy in Batu Pahat as well. everytime i talk with you from phone also feel very excited, i think you more excited than me la. haha... until can cry... hope you children all healthy and well~~
then my Baby in KL. don't always argue with you mummy la. we always say, you always say your mummy this and that, but in heart you love her so much. hehe... maybe sometimes just try to be a little manja with her as what you did when you with us, things might just be a little more better. haha... as you see, you know me and the other not long. but because of your funny attitude, we like you so much~ haha...

i had resign from my work... and they had asked me to stay for another month... this is the final last time i help you... i had been to good hearted to stay this long in the company... and i do had been very very tired... huh...

btw, for my honey who might just drop by to read my blog, how are you currently ya? got argue with your superior ka? haha... had been long time never chat with u lol... haha... don't worried about me after reading my blog. maybe i seems to be a weak person from outside, but inner, i am much more stronger. haha... find a day we chat ya! haha...

bye bye...

Happy? Unhappy?

Huh... everytime i started my blog with a 'huh'... seems so unhappy... still wanna continue my unhappy days...

already 2 month write nothing here la... also never inform anyone how am i currently... so... to all my dear around, how are you ah?? long time never hear from me and i had been long never hear from you all as well...

been busy for this past half years... but what did i get in the end? un-happiness... huh... disappointed...

now i am in JB lah... tomorrow will be back to KL. had been here in Johor for this 2 weekends. last weekend only came to Batu Pahat. and the funny things is that i am here riding my friend's car. and i leave my bags and my car keys in the Pasific mall's customer service. huh... have to ask my friend to drive me home to get the extra key, and asked my friend in Batu to get back my stuff. haha...

and this week, past thru Batu Pahat, went to Kluang and buy biscuit. cause promised my baby to buy him some food while in here... actually is babies... haha... then came to JB lol... and meet my darling here. had been hanging around and eat some nice food yo!!! the chicken stick and lou shu fan is so nice leh!! KL cannot get geh leh!! hehe... then pass by Danga Bay lah... the night lifetime here is very fun la... but not in the mood for this as very tired driving around today la. huh....

then back to hotel and online lol... and get to know that my honey just went back to Singapore from JB! huh... no chance to meet a... kasihannya.... haha.. but sure we will have a time to meet sometimes la..

haha... my baby-babies, darling and honey sure know is them when read my blog! haha...

btw, had been very unhappy for working currently.. i think i need to sit down and talk face to face with the management side about this... i think is time for me to 'tan pai' for all the incident. huh.... really... cannot stand anymore...

then... ya!! Hins concert is super nice yo!! hope can get a copy of the concert recording oh!! haha... high untill shouting until no voice!! haha.. then, get a chance to meet him and take a picture with him yo!!! so so so happy ah... sure, picture already post here la! haha....

back, i be...

huh... have been busy for 2 weeks... because?? out station lol. not for play, is to work. huh...

last week have been urently throw out to go ipoh, parit buntar, taiping, parit buntar again, penang, parit buntar again, back to ipoh again, then back to KL~~ for what go there? for work lol. what else? haha... this new project really do making everyone becoming crazy~ huh... pity me. suddenly throw me out station. make me have to cancel my Genting trip... and my mirium concert!!! arg@!!!! i want to kill people.. waited for so long only get the chance and ticket to see her concert!!! suddenly ask me go out station. huh... luckily no need to pay one. huh.... if not!! i die also dun want to go out station for work. huh...
but is nice too, although is for work, but i have chance to go so many place at 2 to 3 days. haha... and ate few local famous food lol. hehe... zhong yun yok yun fan, ipoh taugeh chicken la, ipoh white offee la, penang char gui teow~~ buy those ipoh geh kuih muih... those sak kei mar~~ 'little chicken biscuit'~~ coconut candy~~ and my favarite sweet peanut sugar biscuit! about whole packet i finish di!!! hehe.... then, can add in places to my phone geh gps map! go guan yin temple to pray la~~~ pass by the sleeping buddhist temple la, no enter cause close di lol...
hahahaha... nice lol.. but hor, driving to those place is not that good lol.. very tired leh~~ huh... lagi nyaris nyaris langgar kereta. huh...... at highway there lagi sikit sudah mau langgar lori, cause tak tahan mengantuk... then terkejut and wake up already!!! haha...

then, this week leh... being throw to kelantan and terengganu.. huh... kasihan nya... early early 5am wake up, 6am go airport, 7am naik kapal, 8am reach, eat KFC AGAIN, 9.30am go outlet, 10.30am load things in, then found out that only 1.30pm can start work... then do what?? chat with the part time guy lol~~ found out he don't have black pant and shoe... huh... bring him go walk around and buy the pant and shoe.. haha... like bringing a little brother go shopping... keep asking my opinion~ haha..... then settle everything... 1.45pm take bus... bus 2.10pm only start.. sit for 3 hour, reach Kuala Terengganu there 5pm something... huh... sit until buntut also sakit~~~ haha... then go KT there... luckily know someone there. hehe... also cause last time work there la... then thanks him a lot lot lot for being my driver and also my tour guide. haha... meet a girl lol, our new KT area supervisor, after the chocolate girl. now we have a milk girl there. haha... there eat a chicken rice which is quite famous for in the town lol... hmm... the chicken rice okok la. but the chilie not good. huh.... hohohoho... then, bring me go terengganu famous crystal mosque la... pantai buruk la... hehe... museum la... but no enter la. haha..... then back KL lol yesterday night. haha.....

huh... thinking to drive to east courst... then i can go one place by one place slowly, no need to rush~ hehe...

back KL.. huh... have to back to normal work lol. huh... visiting 8 outlet in a day. and coming week ah... 12 outlet leh!!! i 8 outlet also cannot finish visit ah... next week 12 outlet... wahseh.... die lol die lol... huh... tak tahu maca mana nak mati nie~~~ huh........ help me laaaa!!!!!!!!

tiredz...

huh... Currently really feel very tired. Work, life, friendship... Seems everything is very hard to me currently. Hmm... I feel like i want to let go everything and have back my easy and nothing to worried geh life. Haha. But i think after tat i would want back my working life, cos boring to be boring. Haha. Why why tell me why? Huh... Maybe this is what people say adult life. Haha. I am in my adulthood la. Should suit myself to be in this life. Huh...

Get to know more and more people currently. Thanks to wings cafe which i went almost every weekend. And also my job as event area supervisor. Really, there where so many different people. Different behavior, different attitute, different emotions. Haha. Everyone is so unique. But most people i know have 1 similarity. That is very 3 8. Haha. Funny, playful, cheerish. Maybe because i m someone like this thats y people around me are almost like this. Hahaha.

I like this song a lot. 你不是真正的快乐. It seems is singing out my inner voice. Huh. True. I m not happy. Not happy with my friend. Not happy with my coleauge. Not happy with my work. Not happy with my behavior. Not happy with my attitude. Not happy with this and that. Huh. Conclusion. I am not a happy fellow. Huh. But why? Why i still smile to everyone? Why i still laugh to people? Why? Why? Huh... Sometimes i really do not understand of myself. Huh. Seems i am going to be schizo, or DID la. Opps. This 2 terms only understand by my coursemate la. Haha. Is psychology term eh. Haha. Huh.

I get to know a fellow currently. Haha. I know u got feeling throughward me. U hug'ed me. And also u kiss'ed my face although i said i don't like that. I know u like me very much. But... Huh.. I can't accept u. Is not that u not good. Is just.. Just that i don't think u suitable to me. U are not the one that i looking for, not the one that i think will together with me, accompany me to the end. I know i m very old minded thinking and sturborn. But... Sorry... I don't think i can accept u...

Today very no good .aka bad mood ah. Huh. This is the first time in my work with the current company, get so many complain. Huh.. It seems to me that the more i put myself to work, the more mistake i'll make. Maybe the work is correct, the more we do the more complain. Nothing i do then there will be no mistake. Haha. I think i should try it la. Haha.

i should wake up...

huh.. After got this nokia n79, everything become easy lo. Haha. No matter to where i go, if there is wifi, i can online. Haha. Can check mail, check friendster, now i even can write blog. Haha. Everything in my hand. Click click click. I just need to click my hand only. Hehe.
Huh.. I had think many many many times. And many many many consideration. I think the old me do too soft already. Always scare this scare that until i forgotten my own self. From now on, i need to think, my ownself first. Is true, there were no one in this world that are not self fish. So, i have to join in the conformity, become one from the world, one of the sellfish people. Maybe not that ultimate sellfish, but at lease to think my own opportunity and my own benefit first no matter what i do. Everytime, i will think a way so everyone will get the benefits. Until i sacrifies my own benefits... Now, to pay back those who had hurt me in the past. I need to be strong, to create a protection wall, and a counter attack cannon, to pay back those who hurted me and want to hurt me, no matter in what way. I have to be evil, evil, evil..... Hurt them before they hurt me. Pay back 10 times they do to me. I swear i will...

Emotion..less...

Huh... working life have been.. so so so stupid. i should aid it as. huh.. why? the word is true,' no friend should work together in a same place'. huh... this is the second time, my friend, should say a very very long best friend, know me more then 10 years, argue with me because of working. huh... she is always thinking she will be right. never see in the different point of view. do you think supervisor is very big?? every company have their own management and hierachy. in this company, supervisor is the LOWEST rank. the powerless. huh... for people outside, they always think we hold some power in the management, sorry to say, we never does, and i should say, will never have.

hmm.. happy things is.. yeah. pimple is less and less currently. haha... now most on my face is the scar... huh... when they will gone leh? haha... i seems to be very greedy lo... first want pimple gone, then now pimple less di want scar gone. haha... huh... i have used many money in this leh.. almost my one month salary ah for it. sure want the best result!!! haha... hopefully it will gone before mid april la. haha......

then... intern... yeaH!!! want end la.. huh... i have already in the internship for 1, 2, 3 the forth month in the company for training, haha.... another one month!! must must must go thru it!! hohoho... i belief i can do it! haha.. i will find my way, i wanna different way~ hehe...

then... at last i bought my dream phone, nokia n-series. hehe... n79. but hor, the camera function is not so good o... night time shot not so good. huh... but morning shot or enough bright shot is very very clear. other function is very good la. but not so biasa... cause last time always use SE phone lo... hehe... but a lot of function. and it do help me in most of the time. haha....

curerently also not in a very good mood. cause... huh... should know la after reading this blog... have to say,'thanks thanks thanks to many people, who listen to my moody problem, who sings songs to make me feel happy, who accompany me thru he phone... thanks thanks thanks so much!!! thank you!!! and to those who make me bad mood. thanks to you too. i have learned to be strong, and see the true of you! you teach me to be an emotion'less human being. facing you people, i will be emotion'less. my good heart, should not give you... thank you.

boringz~~

huh..... getting boring and boring.....

everytime sing... makan sing makin teruk.. huh... should i quite this job?? huh...

face pimples more and more, worse and worser... huh... should go and find a doctor lol... medicine treat. huh...

emotion more and more bad... getting more and more bad mood. huh... how leh??

apa lagi... how lah... someone please help me... huh... one of my friend said my singing is not like the old me... huh... no more that feel..... help!!!!!!!!

A little bit here, a little bit there...

A last, i am 23 years old now... huh... elder and elder. but do not have any successful hystory. haha... this birthday really leave me lonely... maybe because becoming older and thinking also becoming more mature. haha... maybe.. maybe... is hard to say, right or wrong...

First of all... thats to all APE worker... thanks to Chealsea, Elyee, Josh, Clif, Oscar, Jack and also Fung. thanks for celebrating my birthday for me. really a suprise. not idea that you guys will so sudden go buy a cake for me right after i tell u guys that that day is actuly my birthday. and u guys want to see my ic as prove. haha... Really really thanks and hundred times appreciate you guys. Thanks very very much!!!

Secondly, thanks to my geng!!! Harriet, Andrew, Ah Li and Stephen... also Harriet's boy friend. haha... thanks to you guys, still remember my birthday and have a celebration for me, althro we all are busy with our industry training. haha.. Thank you thank you. Love you guys so so so much!! haha...

Back to life, all still the same. huh... busy with work and work and work... haha.. as usual, internship at the morning on weekdays, and supervisor at weekend. but the most suprise and i also never thinking of, i am now a part time singer in cafe. haha... to say the true, i really really want to say hundred times of thank you to Ah Hao for giving me this chance to make my dream come true. althro is just a replacement and part time, i am very very grateful as you take me this 'half pail water' person to be a cafe singer. Thank you very very much. i will work hard to improve my singing and also learn more and more from all the partners. thank you very much again. also, thanks to my partner(s) for helping me this half water to perform on stage. haha...

Hmm... ya. currently i get to know few more new friend from internet o... msn and friendster. haha... thanks to you guys also, for listening to my problem and cheer me up. really happy to know you guys o... hope our friendship will kept forever and the longer we know, the closer we will stay together. haha... happy to know you guys and thanks for being my friends!! thank you..

And also, thanks to Amy, Lily, Samson, Chi Yee, King, Ken, and also Leon and his friend for supporting me on my part time singing in cafe. thanks a lot!! thanks for supporting. really really appreciate you guys support. haha... thank you veli veli much...

And lastly, thank you veli veli much to all friends that wishes me on my birthday. there were few friends that really suprise me as i thought you guys will not know my birthday. and so suprise to get u guys wishes. haha... thanks to everyone for making my life happy~~

For the end, Hope everyone happy and healthy. Hope to see all of you, schoolmate meet you guys when we start our new semester, friends when we go gathering, and my net friend, hope that we will meet one day... surely there will be a day we meet, face to face... haha... Happy to all... All the best...

Dark happiness.....

Today... is my birthday... but... i really wish my tear will drop from my eyes... but it won't. not because of too happy or what... is because of sadness...
I never ask for anything for my birthday. i just hope that my friend(s) will sit with me, accompany me on my birthday.. is that too much??
Today morning someone sms me saying she were not working, and is free. so i asked her out, and asked her what plan she had? she say nothing. then i suggest go to yam cha, because one friend singing today in the cafe. and she say ok.
Evening another friend who same birthday called me asked me to go movie, i say cannot cause promise the first to go yam cha. hence, she say she follow me go yam cha.
Then, the first girl sms saying she will be free at 8pm... ok... i am looking forward for that... is just i hope at least one of my close friend accompany me pass my birthday... is that too much?
Keep on sms'ing... she say she will wait me in times square... ok lo...
From work i rush back to home, take bath... prepare myself...Then go drive the other girl...On the way i asked the girl to sms the other girl...
When reach, the girl that come with me called the other girl... she said she still in office.
Then i say if like that we go home lo.. haha....
And guess what? The girl that come with me said the other girl say is ok if we want to go home...
They hang up the phone.
I tell the girl that come with me, i come so far reach here ask me go home i will kick the other girl... haha...
Then we go in order our food and drink... and listen to my friend's singing... and another friend from Cheras came.
This Cheras girl was cheated to come, cause we told her that i am singing in the cafe. haha... she came and hit me lightly saying i cheated her to come. she pass back my dvd which she had taken so long, and order a drink... and we wait for the other girl to come...
Until 11.15, the Cheras girl need to go home and the other girl haven't show up yet... ok lo.. leave us 2 fellow continue waiting........ we chat, joke and i look for lyric using my laptop... until 12am.....
I write a dedicate song to my friend, tell him me and the girl in front of me birthday today... and guess what? he and his partner make joke on us... saying we born at the same date, were fate to be together etc.. we say no la, actually some one saying will some but no come... then they say she actually want let us together hence no come etc... and...
He sang birthday song to me... and wish me happy birthday..... at that moment... i really wanna cry out... how can a close friend, asked you out, never come, and never let you know that she will not come, on your birthday... when my singer friend sang me the birthday song, i really want to cry out... but i can't...
Until the end, she never shown up. and no sms me anything........
After finish the singing session, my singer friend come down the stage and wish me happy birthday again... i thanks him.
And when we want to went home, i go to him and thanks him again... and he wish me again, i thanks him again, and he wish me again, and i thanks him again.. haha.... at the end... of course.. BYE BYE...

Really thanks to you, ah wang gor gor... for singing me a very nice birthday song...
I will never forget my this 23 years old birthday...